Things in London That Make No Sense to Tourists (But Are Totally Normal Here)
If you’re visiting London for the first time, you’ll probably find yourself saying, “Wait… what?” more than once.
Why is the Underground called the Tube? Why do people stand on one side of the escalator like it’s a law? And what’s up with the pub culture?
From baffling customs to things that only Londoners understand, here’s your guide to all the little quirks that totally confuse visitors—but are just part of everyday life in the Big Smoke.
1. You Don’t Tap Out on Buses
Tourists: “Do I tap out when I get off the bus?”
Locals: “Nope. Only tap in.”
On the Tube and trains, you tap in and out. But on buses, you just tap once when you get on—never when you get off. No one knows why this inconsistency exists. We’ve just accepted it.
2. There Are Two Cities Called ‘London’
Yes, technically.
You’ve got Greater London (the whole area with boroughs like Camden, Hackney, and Greenwich)…
…and then there’s the City of London, which is just 1.2 square miles. It’s the ancient financial district with its own rules, police force, and even a Lord Mayor.
Confusing? Very. But Londoners barely think twice.
3. “Sorry” Doesn’t Always Mean Sorry
In London, “sorry” is a full language.
Bump into someone? Say sorry.
Someone bumps into you? Say sorry anyway.
Want to ask someone to move? Say sorry first.
Someone steps on your foot? You say sorry.
It’s less about apology and more about surviving in a crowded, passive-aggressive city with grace.
4. People Drink Outside the Pub, Even in Cold Weather
Tourists wonder: “Why is everyone standing outside?”
Londoners think: “Where else would we be?”
Drinking on the pavement outside a pub—even in 8°C weather—is a rite of passage. It’s not just socialising, it’s a lifestyle. Bonus points if you awkwardly balance a pint while huddled under a heat lamp.
5. The Tube Map Isn’t Geographically Accurate
It’s iconic, it’s brilliant… and it’s a lie.
The London Underground map is not to scale. Stations that look far apart (like Covent Garden and Leicester Square) are actually just a 3-minute walk from each other. And sometimes, walking is faster than taking the train.
Pro tip: Always check Google Maps before blindly jumping on the Tube.
6. We Call It the Tube, Not the Subway or Metro
Yes, it’s the Underground.
But you’ll almost always hear locals refer to it as “the Tube.”
Never “subway.” That’s a sandwich shop. Or the pedestrian tunnels under roads.
7. Everyone Has an Opinion About North vs. South London
Ask someone where they live and you’ll likely get a passionate rant.
North Londoners scoff at crossing the river. South Londoners swear they get more space and better views. It’s a cultural divide deeper than the Thames.
Tourists: “It’s all just London, right?”
Locals: Absolutely not.
8. You Stand on the Right. Always.
If you stand on the left side of an escalator, someone will tut at you.
London has an unspoken rule on the Tube: stand on the right, walk on the left.
Break it, and you’ll feel the wrath of 50 impatient commuters silently judging you.
9. You Can Eat at a Wetherspoons at 8am and No One Cares
Wetherspoons is the UK’s most love-it-or-hate-it pub chain. But where else can you grab a full English breakfast and a pint at 8am for under £10?
Tourists might be shocked, but to locals, it’s just Tuesday.
10. It’s “Proper” to Queue. For Everything.
We take queuing very seriously here.
If there’s no queue for something, Londoners will invent one. If someone cuts in, expect passive-aggressive eye rolls, but no actual confrontation.
It’s not just about order—it’s British identity.
11. You’ll See Black Cabs Even When Uber Exists
They’re more expensive, but they’re also iconic. Black cab drivers are licensed, trained, and can navigate the city without GPS—thanks to passing “The Knowledge” (an exam that takes years to master).
It’s partly pride. And partly nostalgia. But Londoners still rate black cabs.
12. You Don’t Talk to Strangers (Unless You’re at a Pub)
Talking to a stranger on the Tube? Forbidden.
Making eye contact on the bus? Also weird.
But walk into a pub, and suddenly it’s acceptable to chat with someone about the football, the weather, or why the trains are delayed again.
13. You’ll See Buildings Older Than Most Countries… Next to Glass Skyscrapers
London’s architecture makes no sense—but that’s the charm.
Where else can you walk from a medieval church to a brutalist tower to a Victorian townhouse to a 95-floor glass shard in 10 minutes?
Tourists say: “This city has no consistent design language.”
Londoners say: “Exactly.”
14. You Won’t Always Understand What People Are Saying
Even if everyone’s speaking English, London is a maze of slang and accents.
From Cockney rhyming slang (“I’m off to the battle” = “battlecruiser” = pub) to multicultural street slang like “peng” (great), “peak” (bad luck), or “bare” (a lot)—you’ll hear things that sound like another language.
15. Rain Is Just Background Noise
It could be drizzling, and you’ll still see people out running, walking dogs, and chilling in parks like nothing’s happening.
London rain isn’t dramatic. It’s polite. More of a sprinkle than a storm. Umbrellas? Optional.
So, Does London Make Sense?
Honestly? Not really.
But that’s what makes it beautiful.
It’s a city where contradictions live side by side: old and new, polite and impatient, grumpy and charming. The things that confuse tourists are often the things locals love most—because they remind us we live somewhere full of history, quirks, and a few unspoken rules you just have to feel out.
So next time you feel confused in London… you’re probably doing it right.
Save this blog before your next trip to London—or share it with a friend who’s visiting soon. Follow @Londonyaar for more unfiltered, local-friendly guides to London’s quirks, chaos, and charm.